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41# Red flags! Ignore at own risk

Updated: Apr 24, 2021

- Shall we?

-Yes… it’s time.

Marco and I had been staying with Guy and Sandra for a couple of days now. It’s common courtesy to listen to your host, but Guy’s constant bragging was appaling. And we had run out of patience. It is exhausting to be a hypocrite. We were looking for our next destination, and wanted to leave the Puerto Escondido on a high note.

There was a big reggae festival at the beach. We made plans to go there together: Marco, I, Sandra, Guy and his friends. Sandra announced that a friend of her daughter would be joining us. Marco was still trying to get laid with Crazy Sammy and after seeing him struggle so much, I wanted him to succeed. It was a mission I took to heart.

We arranged chairs around a table at the bar. Guy was bragging again. I was sipping my beer slowly to avoid talking when she appeared. All eyes turned towards her, all conversations stopped. She was gorgeous, a classy Aztec princess. She wore a yellow summer dress and bathed the whole table with her smile. Every detail of her outfit was carefully selected, from her head bands to her toe nails. The horny geezers stood up one by one to hug her. Her name was Esperanza.

Sandra introduced me as the traveller from Montreal. While I told her about the journey, she gazed at me with her wide black eyes, smiling and playing with her hair. I’d never thought La Chichona would have such an impact on my game. Marco and I exchanged a knowning look. It would be legendary if we both got laid before leaving.

The festival was walking distance but I had left La Chichona at the end of the street. While everybody went to the reggae fest, I asked Esperanza to come with me pick up La Chichona. We had good chemistry and laughed a lot. I opened the door, sat down, and invited Esperanza in. We cracked a beer. A main advantage of living in a van is that you are already in the living room by the time you step inside. Tension was in the air, the good kind.

The festival was everything you would expect from a good reggae fest. We joined the rest of the group. The bands were good, in communion with the crowd. There were clouds of smoke here and there, and everyone was having a good time.

By the end of the night, all the elders were gone. Only remained Marco, Esperanza and me. We walked back to the van, cracked another beer and started making out on the couch, while Marco faced the other way. Esperanza felt uncomfortable. I was laughing. As wise Pablo would say, “it’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”

The next day, Marco had a date with Crazy Sammy. He borrowed La Chichona to take her to Tierra Blanca. By the beach they would have a romantic setup and no fishermen knocking on their tent. Meanwhile, I invited Esperanza for dinner. We ate, walked on the beach, and made out like teenagers on the restaurant deck chairs. I walked her home full of hope, but she pushed me off at the last minute. You can’t always get what you want…

When I returned to Guy and Sandra’s, it was past midnight. The door was closed and I didn’t dare wake them up. I started looking for a hotel in La Punta…everything was closed. In distress, I texted Esperanza. She invited me over. I jumped into a cab and arrived to her place ten minutes later. Relieved. Grateful. Horny.

Walking up the stairs, she told me not to judge the mess in her room. I promised I wouldn’t, but I couldn’t. The floor was dirty. There were clothes and shoes everywhere, a full ashtray on the bed, empty bottles scattered around, and a bunch of dirty dishes piled up on the floor. I tried my best to hide my disgust. How can someone live like that?

Nonetheless, we fucked. It was bad, off and discordant, just like Guy’s music. During the whole act, all I was thinking about was cleaning the room. How many garbage bags would it take? How many bottles of bleach? Sandpaper to scrub the floor? We finished quickly.

The bathroom was filthier than a portable toilet after a reggae festival. I looked down and froze. There were white sticky lumps on the condom. A ball of disgust went up my chest. I almost puked. A storm of crazy thoughts invaded my mind. That shit could carry some ancient tropical disease for all I knew. I made sure not to touch anything, cleaned up and went back to bed. She was asleep. I lied down in silence, waited for the first light, and reflected on my life choices…

At dawn, I left like a thief to meet Marco at our usual café. He had an intense experience in Tierra Blanca. As expected, Crazy Sammy was crazy in bed. He also confirmed a certain legend about redheads. As smelly as it might have been, it was nothing close to a feta-spitting vagina. Despite the persistent smell on his fingers and my random strokes of disgust, we were satisfied. Mission accomplished.

We finished our coffee and without a word, made a good decision. It was time.


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