22# Bring it on...BITCHES!

Updated: Feb 27, 2021



Shit hit the fan! I expected it but not so early. Shitty Sugar's Human Resources (HR) sent me a call invitation with the subject line: " Relocation to Canada". My debt was still crippling me and I needed time to figure things out, time to get creative… The end was near.


On the way to San Diego, I had a clash with Kamilia. She got offended about some shit I said and gave me the cold treatment. It was the end of a long day and I needed to talk to stay alert. She failed her only responsibility as the copilot. It pissed me off.


In my anger, I contemplated leaving her on the side of the road. Just long enough to scare the shit out of her and make her beg for forgiveness. I considered all the ways to teach her a lesson but the risks were too high. So I repressed my rage and drove in silence, for two days. After travelling together for almost a month, it was bound to happen.


We arrived to Sana's house in San Diego and felt immediately at ease. My aunt Sana and her family live a busy Californian life. Yet, they always find the time to enjoy precious moments. Pleasure takes on different forms, a refreshing cocktail after work, smoking the hookah under the stars or a ballad by the beach. There was always something nice to do. Sana treated us like kings. The family context calmed the tension between Kamilia and I but I still wanted her to apologize. She didn't give a shit. Eventually we brushed it off with passive aggressive comments and pretended all was fine. The joys of siblings' love.


When I received the notice from HR, I had all the time in the world to focus on an answer. Paying off my debt was the top priority. During the call, the HR lady did all the talking, she even made the proposal. I had 10 days to move back to Canada, or I would have to resign.


You see, I didn't tell Shitty Sugar about my whereabouts. My boss thought I was living and working from Morocco, for the past three years. She understood I had a tacit agreement with management and rolled with it. She was happy with the job I'd been doing and my customers as well. So far so good.


Last summer there was a change in the remote work policy. HR found out I was not in Canada and started an investigation for tax purposes. The investigation led to that call…three fucking years later! I had become a liability because Shitty Sugar didn't do things by the book back then. Now that they had realized it, they were trying to force my hand.


I listened and took notes. When she finished, I asked her to sum up the terms in an official letter, so I could discuss them with my lawyer. I dropped the word. A heavy silence set the mood. Ready, set, growl.


I learnt in the corporate world that big companies are bullies. They would bully anyone to get what they want. Corporations rule in the US, and Shitty Sugar had been firing employees by the thousands to pay off their shareholders. HR got used to that docile submission. When they announced their proposal, they missed one critical detail. Despite working on the US chart, I was still a Canadian employee. And Canadian labour laws, as opposed to the US', protect employees against corporate bullying.


I called my colleagues for advice. Most of them were stuck in the same situation. They were all worried about their future. I wanted to rally the troops and form a group resistance against Shitty Sugar, in union there is strength. My colleagues liked the idea but our movement needed a leader. We all knew the first one through the door would get shot. No one stepped forward, and a guy working from a van on another continent wasn't a credible prospect.


I discussed my options with my former boss Angelo. He was the head of Canada and he encouraged me to threaten them with a lawsuit under harassment ground. After all, they unilaterally changed a 3-year long agreement and were forcing me to make a major life decision on an unreasonable short notice. Sounds unfair right? I turned to my friends for help, two lawyers and two HR specialists. Together we crafted the perfect letter for HR. I had a case and they knew it.


It was hard to accept that my cash cow was dying along with my comfortable lifestyle. I worked relentlessly for years to build the ideal system. Working for 4 hours a week AND making my numbers. My boss was happy. The customers were happy, and I worked well with everybody. My reputation in the industry was solid and travelling didn't affect my numbers. For three years, I had the perfect instance of balance and harmony… until HR ruined it.


Fueled by a sense of justice, I had to decide: to fight or surrender. I surrendered before. Now things had changed. Two decades of sport competitions taught me to be mentally tough. My hate toward corporate bullying had climaxed into a moment of mental clarity, a stoic acceptance. The Shitty Sugar chapter was coming to its end, and I was ready to close it on an epic finale.


I felt the excitement of battle, my pupils opened wide and adrenaline rushed through my veins. I would fight until the end. And if I were to fall, I would bring down everybody with me, kamikaze style. 


Shitty Sugar HRs and lawyers, here I stand waiting for you.

Bring it on… BITCHES!



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